Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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