he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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