Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
