i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
