everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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