i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
