i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
