Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
