You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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