Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
