It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
