he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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