The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
