hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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