I could have mohawked her pubes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize