my mouth tastes like poor choices
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
