That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
