btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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