I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
