My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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