I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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