next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize