So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
