So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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