she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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