I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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