I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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