Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
