I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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