Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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