Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
