I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
