:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
