yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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