I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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