I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
