yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
