I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
