I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
