Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
