going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
