Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
