I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
