THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
