i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
