where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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