She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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