I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
