Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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