i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
