Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize