I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i barfeds in our rink
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize