She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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