Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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