There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
