I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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