hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
