She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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