2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
