I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
