Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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