He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
