i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
